July 19th
I'm going to interrupt whatever blogging I am trying to catch up on (I think College Friends Visiting) to tell you about my morning.
A little back story. We are getting ready to PCS (military move). As part of this, we took the Citroen to the shop to get a tune up so we can sell it to the next military family. We picked it up and everything was fine. Dan drove it to work Friday. Friday evening Dan calls me to tell me the Citroen won't start and would I come get him. So I go. We don't do anything about the car over the weekend or Monday. Back story done.
Today, I go in to work at NMCRS and Dan stands duty. Around 9:30 Dan calls the mechanic and tells him what happened and the mechanic says he will send a tow truck. It will arrive around 10:30. Since Dan is standing duty and can't leave the watch floor, I am sent to meet the tow truck driver, Pepe. I am worried about this for a few reasons. 1 - The Citroen is on base, which means I will have to figure out how to sponsor Pepe onto the base. 2 - He doesn't speak any English. 3 - I don't speak any Italian unless it's related to food or general conversational statements like hello, good day, thanks, etc.
I leave my office and take a 10-15 minute walk up to the front gate, where surprisingly, Pepe is waiting. I try to tell him we need to go to Pass & ID to get him sponsored on and he says things and gestures that he doesn't. Maybe he has a pass, I don't know. So I get in the truck. We try to get on base and immediately get told by security that he needs to be sponsored onto base. Pepe backs the truck up and I take his ID papers to Pass & ID, who need more documents from him. I get them, they give me the sponsor passes, I get back in the truck, and we try to get on base again. The security guard warns me that he's not sure the truck will fit in the parking garage. I guess we'll find out. Security sends a car to follow us. I am concerned about this at first, but turns out one of the guys speaks Italian and this is very very helpful. Pepe tries to drive into the parking garage. The truck BARELY fits on the ground level and of course the Citroen is on the 4th floor. The truck will not make it up the ramp up to the 4th floor. Now what.
Much discussion happens between Pepe and security. Ultimately, Pepe decides he can push the car down and out of the garage. Security sort of agrees that, yes, he can do that but they cannot help him. Much more discussion occurs and Pepe and security decide the tow truck can be parked outside the garage while we get the Citroen down from the 4th floor. I am super wary of this plan. Because you know, we're going to push the Citroen through the garage and DOWN four floors of the spiral down ramp. This can't go well....right?
Pepe, one security guy, and I climb the stairs to the 4th floor and go to the Citroen. Pepe wants to push it down the Up ramp, because it is closer. Security doesn't want to let him do this because it's the UP ramp. Pepe checks that the Citroen does indeed fail to start and then starts pushing it down the length of the garage to the down ramp. At least it's a very small car. Security guy and I follow. Security guy's partner waits and then follows in their car. We get to the down ramp and Pepe tells/motions for me to get into the car. He's not allowed to be on his own while I base, which means I HAVE to go with him. So....I get in the car, grateful that I am not the one driving, though still wary this is going to end in tears. Security guy gets back in his car.
We start going down the ramps and all is actually going quite well until we get to the bottom and Pepe gets distracted by his phone and isn't paying attention to what's going on. I start yelling STOP and waving my arms because he's about to follow the down ramp into the basement. This would be very bad. Pepe stops the car, we both get out, and security catches up in their car.
Now Pepe is pushing the Citroen. I am walking behind him. Security is driving behind me with their lights flashing. WORST PARADE EVER. Did I mention I'm wearing a BRIGHT pink dress? I don't blend in with anything.
Pepe gets the car out of the garage; security takes him to get his truck. The Citroen gets loaded on the truck, I get in the truck, and Pepe and I head back to the front gate. We get to the gate, I trade the sponsor passes for our real documents, and then we wait for the mechanic to call to tell Pepe how much to charge for the tow.
In this awkward window of time Pepe tries to make polite conversation. I understand more Italian than I can speak, but it's still not good. Pepe asks if I'm married - yes, if I have kids - no, but I have a dog and a cat. He asks if they get along. I say sort of. Awkward silence. He shows me his shoulder and I'm guessing tells me he got sunburnt working a few days prior. I tell him that the sun and my whiteness equals very red which is very bad. Thankfully the mechanic calls. I pay Pepe and walk back to work. Luckily the walk back to work is 10-15 minutes which gives me time to find the whole experience quite ridiculous.
WORST. PARADE. EVER.
That is all.
