This has been an ongoing list of things that are terrible, funny, interesting, or great about Italy and sometimes Europe at large. In no particular order:
- I have seen more random penises out and about than I care to. When driving, Italian men will pull off on the side of any road to pee. They don't pee behind their cars though. You can clearly see them.
- Neapolitans hate to make change They WILL NOT DO IT. Even when you can see that they can easily make change for you, they won't. They will just stare at you in silence until you either figure out how to pay the exact amount, or give up and go away. Sometimes if you wait long enough, they will begrudgingly acquiesce. This can be long and awkward and painful.
- Neapolitans are a liquid, at least when mobile. They fill any space they are in and loath to be in a line or any sort of order.
- Italy was done by Monet. From a distance it looks lovely. Colorful picturesque coastal towns and hillside villages, and whatnot. Up close it's a big mess of nonsense.
- Bathrooms. In Italy and most of Europe there aren't hooks in the bathrooms for women to hang their purses or bags. Many of the toilets also don't have toilet seats. This is more common in Italy than else where.
- Gelato is sooooo good. It's better than ice cream. I will miss the accessibility of gelato. My favorite flavor is fior di latte which is basically mozzarella flavor. It's delicious, don't make that face. Fior di latte is the name for mozzarella when it's from cow's milk instead of buffalo's milk.
- Wine flows freely here, sometimes almost literally. Some enotecas have gas pump like systems for filling whatever container you want with wine.
- When it rains in Naples, your car gets dirtier than if it hadn't rained.
- Cemeteries are weird. In Italy you are only buried for seven years, then they dig you up, condense your remains, and put you in a family vault. This is because Italy is Catholic and they believe in the resurrection of the body. If there's no "body" you can't be resurrected. This also leads to weird apartment-looking buildings that are actually huge mausoleums. They are apartments for the dead.
- It is hard to get anything done. No one calls the plumber when your sink is backed up. They call their brother's friend's cousin who once installed a doorknob. They then proceed to insist everything is fine, even though it clearly isn't. Also, they will randomly show up to "fix" your problem. They won't tell you when, and you probably won't be home. This is now your fault and you will never see them again.
- Fireworks. Fireworks all the time. For any and everything. Tuesday at 1am? FIREWORKS. Wednesday at 10 am? FIREWORKS. Birthday, Wedding, found a Euro on the street? FIREWORKS. It's a little funny and kind of wonderful.



